Parents Aren’t Perfect

5. Children with poor perceptions of themselves may sabotage the very rewards they say they want.
The idea of children sabotaging rewards is counterintuitive. It simply does not make any sense to us that a child would misbehave to avoid getting something he or she seems to want. 
A child with a very low self-esteem may [...]

4. In general a reward given closer to when it is earned is more powerful than a delayed reward.
This should not be so surprising. Imagine if I offer your favorite candy bar to you now versus offering it to give it to you a week from now. As I imagine this it is easy to [...]

3. There are many types of rewards. Don’t underestimate your options.
Parents often forget how many different types of rewards exist. As a result they limit themselves.
· A reward can be something I can touch and see. These include things like snacks, money, toys, etc.
· A reward can be something social. These include time with [...]

2. A reward should match the effort made to earn the reward.

Big rewards are big motivators, but they increase the need for big rewards.  For example, offering a child $5 per week to take out the garbage, a task that may take only a few minutes, leads to the expectation that $5 is not enough [...]

The problem of selecting a reward/motivator is extremely important and therefore worth spending some time on. In this six part series we will look closely at the factors that must be considered when selecting a reward. The principles are really not complicated, but I often find people fail to pay careful “A”ttention to the [...]