How Do I Select Consequences? – Part 2 – How Serious Was The Infraction?

Before selecting a consequence, it is important to first determine the seriousness of the infraction. In general, more serious behaviors deserve more intense the consequences.

 Problem behaviors generally fall into classes:

           Impulsive words or actions that need to be restrained.

                                                  Unacceptable words/ tones

                                                  Refusal to follow direction

                                                  Failure to cooperate

                                                  Hitting, shoving, pushing, etc.

                                                  Deliberate damage to property

In general safety issues are most critical. For example, we cannot respond casually to a child who knows it is wrong to run into the street and deliberately does this.

Physical actions of disobedience are generally more serious than verbal actions of disobedience. For example, a child who hits his sister has done something more serious then a child who simply yells at his sister.

Deliberate actions of disobedience are generally more serious then acts of neglect. For example, a child who forgets to make his bed as part of the morning process of getting ready for school has done something less serious than a child who fails to make his bed when you give him the instruction.

Failure to respond to a direction when fully present to a situation is generally more serious then when I am preoccupied with something. For example, the behavior of a child who fails to follow an instruction because she is caught up in a television show is not the same as a child who is standing in front of you making eye contact with no distractions who fails to comply.